Boxes.

I wish I had a big ol’ box for some of the giant categories of my identity.

Asian American.  Woman.  ISFJ Personality.

Then when different conflicts or situations arise where I’m not sure how to respond or why I’m responding the way I am, I can just figure out which box it belongs in.

Oh, I feel this way because that’s part of my Asian American culture.  Oh, I behaved this way because I’m a woman.  Oh, that happened just because that’s part of my personality.

It’d be so much easier for me to know that the tangled mess can actually be untangled and lead to clarity of the cause and effect.  It’d be easier for me to learn from my mistakes, or even just recognize if I’ve even made one.  My feelings and behavior as well as those of others I interact with could be organized in a neat and orderly fashion.

I hate that life doesn’t actually work that way at all.  And I hate that people are complicated.  Actually, I hate that I’m so complicated.

Well, maybe hate is too strong of a word.  Let’s just say it can all get really, really, annoying.

 

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